Wednesday, August 10, 2005
8:58 PM
I think I've found out why I've been feeling those pangs of loneliness and depression so sharply these days. It is the withdrawal symptoms...
I've never really told anyone about it before, but I think in my schooling days, I've been quite badly addicted to computer games. Actually, mainly Warcraft 3. I would be playing for hours in the middle of exams, all the way through my 'O' levels and 'A' levels. Sadly, I'm still very lousy at the game. And I'm really fortunate to have scraped through to where I've gotten. But that's not the point really.
I've not played any computer games (except those flash mini-games on the internet explorer while in camp... they don't count... right???) for over 2 months at least already I think. Not playing computer games has not made me lonelier, but it gave the time and space to realise how pathetic my life has become.
I spend the better part of my day in camp doing work with no incentive nor satisfaction (of which I will have to spend another entry talking about some other time), and is left only with a measly 3 to 4 hours left to myself at home daily. The weekend hours become golden.
Yet even if I do spend my time away from camp 'meaningfully', going out with my friends, it is but a few hours. Compared to 5 days in a week, 5 hours of time spent 'meaningfully' only makes the 5 days harder to bear.
Playing games regularly helped me to forget everything. During late nights when I could not fall asleep, and there was no one to talk to online or on the phone, and there was no one to go out with, I could always turn on the game and distract myself from it all. I did not even need to go out with friends during weekends, and furthermore, the weekdays would be easier to bear as well.
So now that I do not have this distraction, reality hits me like a brick below my belt.
And now that I'm forced to see this reality, I also gradually realise that if anything, this state of affairs of mine is probably going to resurface again when I enter the real world as part of the work-force in the future. If my job does not give me satisfaction, nor incentives, and I do not have any good acquaintances at work, life would be as bad. Except that there is no "ORD loh" to look forward to...
Comments:
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6 comment)
Hey... you ok?
Anything can call me yea?
Though I may find you irritating, weird and strange at times, can still listen to you talk and talk and talk... haha
Anyway marathon onz man! When?
WB
Anything can call me yea?
Though I may find you irritating, weird and strange at times, can still listen to you talk and talk and talk... haha
Anyway marathon onz man! When?
WB
# posted by 
: 6:22 PM
: 6:22 PM
Haha! I find this really interesting, "reality hits me like a brick below my belt." Haha!
Yeah... anything you can give me a yell too... Just 8 numbers away... And no, unlike your good friend, i do not find you irritating, weird and strange... Haha!
er-hem...Though I have the penchant for bullying you by making sarcastic remarks...- but hey- Ive imrpoved- I didnt do that on Monday! ;)
Opps- bad English- two conjunctions in one sentence...
Yeah... anything you can give me a yell too... Just 8 numbers away... And no, unlike your good friend, i do not find you irritating, weird and strange... Haha!
er-hem...Though I have the penchant for bullying you by making sarcastic remarks...- but hey- Ive imrpoved- I didnt do that on Monday! ;)
Opps- bad English- two conjunctions in one sentence...
What is so profound Anonymous? The name? Haha- Andromache is the wife of Hector ( Eric Bana), sister-in-law of Paris...
# posted by : 5:08 PM
: 5:08 PM
The mind needs to escape. Each of us have our own way to find our relaxing world of heaven. I write and forget about the rest of the world.
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# posted by : 3:00 PM
: 3:00 PM